Glossary of kink and BDSM terms

The vocabulary of kink and BDSM

A non-exhaustive glossary of terms used in the community, in plain language. Some terms have different meanings in different contexts — when in doubt, ask.

Safety and consent

• SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual) — A safety framework: the activities you do are safe, you are in a sane state to evaluate them, and both parties consent. Critics note that "sane" is subjective; the framework has been complemented by RACK.
• RACK (Risk-Aware Consensual Kink) — A safety framework that explicitly acknowledges that all activities carry some risk. What matters is awareness of the risk, communication, and consent.
• PRICK (Personal Responsibility, Informed Consensual Kink) — A framework that emphasizes each person's individual responsibility for their own decisions within the practice.
• Safe word — A previously agreed word (or signal) that stops an activity immediately, without question. The most common systems are: "red" (stop) / "yellow" (ease up) / "green" (keep going).
• Traffic light system — 🟢 green (continue), 🟡 yellow (ease up), 🔴 red (stop). The most-used safe-word system in the community.
• Hard limit — Something you absolutely will not do, under any circumstances, with anyone. Negotiated before any scene.
• Soft limit — Something you might do, with care, under specific conditions, with someone you trust.
• Consent — Active, informed, enthusiastic, reversible agreement to a specific activity. Consent can be withdrawn at any time.
• Affirmative consent — The model where the absence of "no" is not enough; you need an active "yes."

People and roles

• Top / Dom / Dominant — The person who leads, gives orders, or performs the acts of intensity in a scene.
• Bottom / Sub / Submissive — The person who receives, follows orders, or experiences the intensity.
• Switch — A person who plays both roles, in different scenes or in different moments of the same scene.
• Rigger — The person who ties (in rope play).
• Rope top / rope bottom — Roles specifically in rope play.
• Domme — Female dominant. The word is used regardless of the gender of the person addressed.
• Mistress / Master — Titles used in some dynamics, typically formal power exchange.
• Sadist — A person who enjoys giving (or simulating) intense sensations (pain, etc.) in a consensual context.
• Masochist — A person who enjoys receiving intense sensations.
• Sadomasochist — Both, in different moments or with different partners.
• Voyeur — A person who enjoys watching others' scenes.
• Exhibitionist — A person who enjoys being watched during scenes.

Scenes and dynamics

• Scene — A bounded period of play, from start to finish, with its own negotiation and aftercare.
• Play — The practice itself, in any of its forms. "Let's play" = "let's have a scene."
• Dynamic — The relationship pattern between two people, especially in power exchange. "We have a 24/7 dynamic" = "we live the D/s in everyday life, not only in scenes."
• Protocol — Established rules of behavior within a dynamic or scene. E.g., "the submissive doesn't speak unless spoken to."
• Edge / Edging — Bringing a person to the edge of climax (or another intense state) and holding them there. Play that hovers without crossing the threshold.
• Drop — A sudden emotional or physical change. "Sub drop" (in the submissive), "top drop" (in the dominant).
• Subspace — An altered state of consciousness that the submissive person can enter during intense scenes. Often described as meditative, floating, or dissociative.
• Topspace — The equivalent for the dominant: an altered state of focus, control, flow.
• Aftercare — Care after a scene. Part of the practice, not an extra. See the dedicated guide.
• Safeword — see Safety.
• Hard limits / Soft limits — see Safety.

Common practices

• Bondage — Physical restraint. With rope, leather cuffs, tape, etc.
• Shibari / Kinbaku — Japanese rope bondage. Aesthetic, sensual, can be erotic. See the activities page.
• Impact play — Striking the body with hand, paddle, flogger, crop, cane. Each implement has different sensations.
• Sensation play — Temperature (wax, ice), textures (satin, leather), electricity (TENS units, violet wands), sensory deprivation (blindfolds, earplugs).
• Role play — Acting out a scene with roles. Doctor/patient, teacher/student, boss/employee, etc. Limited only by mutual agreement.
• Service — Acts of service in a D/s context. Cooking, cleaning, kneeling, serving drinks, etc.
• Worship — Devotional practices. Foot worship, body worship, etc.
• Findom (Financial domination) — A dynamic where the submissive gives money (or "tribute") to the dominant. Not for everyone; many kink communities are skeptical of it.
• Pet play — A dynamic where one person takes the role of an animal (puppy, kitten, pony, etc.) and the other takes the role of owner/handler.
• Age play — A dynamic where one person takes a younger role (not necessarily literal age; it can be a "little" dynamic). NO minors involved. Always adults.
• CNC (Consensual Non-Consent) — A pre-negotiated scene where the submissive "resists" and the dominant "overcomes" that resistance. The negotiation is very detailed. Not for beginners.

Slang of the community

• Daddy / Mommy / Sir / Ma'am — Titles used in some dynamics. Not all. Never assumed.
• Little / Babygirl — Role in age play dynamics. Adult.
• Good girl / Good boy — Praise in D/s contexts. Not for everyone.
• Brat — A sub who "misbehaves" to provoke consequences. A specific play style.
• Brat tamer — The top who "punishes" the brat.
• Scene — see above. Also: "to scene" = to play.
• Play party — A social event where people have scenes (in dedicated zones).
• Munch — A social meetup without play. Coffee + conversation. The most amable entry door.
• Dungeon — A space equipped for play. Some dungeons are permanent (commercial), some are temporary (at events).
• D/s, M/s, D/s/M — Abbreviations for Dominant/submissive, Master/slave, etc.

Community and culture

• Kink-aware — A professional, space, or community that is informed about and respectful of kink. "Kink-aware therapist" = a therapist who knows the community and doesn't pathologize.
• Vanilla — Non-kink. "Vanilla relationship" = a relationship without kink dynamics.
• Kink-shaming — Stigmatizing kink or the people who practice it. Kink-aware communities reject kink-shaming.
• Heteronormativity — The assumption that everyone is heterosexual and cis. The kink community has historically been more inclusive, but heteronormativity is still a force to push back on.
• Consent culture — The practice of centering consent in all interactions, not only in scenes.

How to use this glossary

This is a reference, not a list to memorize. Words will come up in conversations, in the guides, in the FAQ. If you don't know one, ask. There is no shame in asking. The community values honesty over performance.